Am I the only one who didn't know this?
Quality family relationships don’t just happen when we spend time together. And they don’t come from luck. Family relationships are created using a specific set of skills. I didn’t know that until full on adulthood. It’s so sad and unnecessary to miss out on this.
Hello. I'm Jonie.
I was really good at being married, until life’s challenges stacked up and my husband and I reacted to them differently.
“Why are you looking at me like that? This is your fault.”
“You’re late, again.”
“I can’t believe you spent $350 without talking to me about it.”
What happened to us?
We used to be on the same team.
We used to agree.
I used to feel seen and loved.
I was not expecting this depth of loneliness to happen in my marriage. I was so filled with frustration and resentment that sometimes I didn’t want him to come home.
Love was not enough. Neither were our good intentions.
I avoided the issues for a long time because they seemed unsolvable. They were also annoying, and I didn’t want to spend time and energy on them. But everything kept getting worse, way worse. I had to do something to change this. “Trying harder” wasn’t working.
My degrees in nutrition and science were of no use in fixing this, but I did have my research skills. Through in-depth studies in marriage courses, child and family development, and relationship coaching, I started to see the way out of this mess, the way forward. Then, through many experiments, I learned how to change the patterns of our marriage.
I discovered that I did not marry the wrong person. What I needed was to learn how to be my own person, understand who he is, and figure out effective ways to interact so we could discover what our “us” looks like. That was the foundation we lacked. Once we created it, we were able to increase our understanding of each other, deepen our intimacy, and support each other.
We are enjoying our marriage again.
Many marriages and families are suffering significantly because they don’t have these tools and skills. I hope my work, and the healing and peace it brings, reaches them.
Everyone deserves the opportunity to learn how to create supportive and enjoyable relationships.
This is the reason I founded LINK Relationships, which provides the keys to respectful, supportive, and life-giving interactions.
LEADERSHIP – We must be stable and effective leaders of ourselves before we can lead others in our family and our community.
INNER WORLD – This is the missing piece of many relationships. It includes our inner thoughts, sensations, feelings, emotions, our experiences, our values, and desires. When we don’t know and share these with others, we hurt our bodies and relationships.
NEW EXPERIENCES – It takes courage to try out new things. I give myself a high-five when I do this, and deeply respect and applaud other people whenever they venture into the unfamiliar. It’s a foundational element in vibrant and growing relationships.
KNOW-HOW – Knowledge is a good start. Effectively applying it, that’s “know-how.” It’s practical, it’s expertise, that’s what we’re talking about. This is when the good stuff starts to happen.
These concepts are part of who I am in my personal life and how I am in my coaching practice. When people work with me, they grow in these four areas.